December 2000
19 September

13 September

30 August

22 August
18 August
08 August

31 July
27 July
24 July
07 July
05 July
03 July

30 June

Friday 22 December

Online journals. You either love 'em, or think they're a self-indulgent pile of mastubatory toss.

We love mastubatory toss.

1) Vodkatini and the self-help books.

2) So, somewhere in bastard America, it's bastard snowing.
How nice for them.

3) Fawn's updated. She's so happy. So full of joi de vivre as per bloody usual. Jealous much?

4) Lisa isn't full of joi de vivre. She's empty of it. She's taking a holiday. It's over with Dave.

5) Nicol is wierd. She's obsessed with cooking. They had an ICE STORM in her part of bastard America. I am so jealous of snow!

6) And finally: Erica. A pretty little genius 17-year-old who writes like an angel already. Hot-damn! Hot tamale! Guck-guck!

Wednesday 20 December

Recognise this? Are You Craig David? Never one to work too hard, AMPnet has 'repurposed' its Grow Your Own Craig David article for Hooray!

We don't have any other links because we were in Amsterdam and didn't go on the internet for, like, days.

Thursday 14 December

1.52 pm Re: Claire Swires affair: Bradley's in trouble!

11am And in the Top Ten rudest words in Britain, we have cunt at number one, swiftly followed by motherfucker! Slag has moved up three places since last year, while God is holding strong at the bottom of the charts.

I see Dubya's started a weblog.

Who likes playing mock the stock at car boot sales, then? Here we have a web page devoted to ugly applique t-shirts, vomitous home crafts, and nightmare inducing birthday cakes. I expected to like the things she loathed, what with me being so obstererous an' all, but the girl's got taste.

Oh look, another unmetered access provider's reneged on its deal. How dare customers use what they're offered and have paid for, eh? How rude of them.

And finally: always clear your brower history. Otherwise your computer is just a plastic encapsulation of your unconsious. And the unconsious is scary. Repress! Repress!

Wednesday 13 December

The Hunt for Claire Swire - got it first thing yesterday, forwarded it second thing yesterday, and guess what - it's a hoax!

Forget arse-on-chest cleavage. All men are fly to the Wonderbra trick. Think fake sticky-out-nipples! Oh my heavens, I think I want some.

Craid David=date rapist? This is the meanest, snarliest, funniest, most switched-on review of Born To Do It I've ever read. And I've read a few.

Tuesday 12 December 2000

Whilst researching UK Garage for a highly reverent article about Mr Craig David, I found POONTWANG! I don't have to hear a single note of their music to know that they are absolutely my favourite band EVER. You can just smell the Aqua-net dripping off the webpage! See the static crackle from those wigs! Smell the trail of crushed whimpering indie-boys in their wake! Who needs music when you have jpegs and pixels and all that stuff? I'm just as thrilled as if I'd seen them in concert already!

  Monday 11 December 2000

. Who does it? Really? Well, R. Eirik Ott does. He writes a print zine called The Wussy Boy Chronicles, and cites Duckie from Pretty In Pink as his hero. For this alone, I am dying to meet him. But flossing? Is this normal?

L.A. underground mag Glue has an online journal from fabby fag performance artiste Ms Vaginal Creme Davis. Not sure what the hell is going on, but it involves nude intern boys, art stalking, snow queens, a nubian prince and incestuous redheaded identical twins, so hooray.

If you've OD'd on fashion magazines, here's an antidote: beautiful, curvy chicks, lovingly painted in classic pin-up stylee. Les Toil is a Stateside artiste with a penchant for the more pendulous, ample members of the female sex. For three hundred bucks, you too can be a Toil Girl. Oh, how I wish I were rich. And fat.

Top fashion hint: cloven hoof socks from Japan. Now one can wear one's flip-flops in winter, too. How deluxe!

Tony Blair wants to crack down on yobbo culture. Do they mean you? Only one way to find out. Take the Are You A Yobbo Quiz. Apparently, AMPnet 'works hard and plays hard, but manages to keep its antisocial-behaviour in check, most of the time'. Good thing they didn't see us on Friday night, innit.

Got a site you think we'd be into? Tell us!

Friday 8 December 2000

this old dude is so trashy! yowsa! why do i never meet anyone like this in my work? i just meet new media men who know how to swear alright but are just plain old new men when it comes to really being offensive, i just know it.

soulstaker was my favourite teenager ever. i swear it was him made proctor and gamble close the swizzle message boards! luckily i know where all the boards are archived. here's soulstaker in all his 14-year-old skateboy glory.

Thursday 7 December 2000

Speaking of gayboys, as I often do - I've found a back entrance (oh, for fuck's sake) to Seth Bogart's Puberty Strike site. The site is currently being redesigned, but Amy Kellner's list of Formative Sexual Experiences Involving Prince is still up there. (Kellner is a highly skill writer who's done stuff for Rollerderby and Index - check her out.) The Prince revival is going to happen, so get diggin' in those bargain bins, kidz.

When something describes itself as 'cool', does that automatically disqualify it from being, uh, 'cool'?

And is this the most beautiful guitar strap ever made?

Siamese twins. Sorry. Conjoined twins. There's a lot of it about. Well, there was. Like the Biddenden Maids from Kent. They were joined at the hips and buttocks and they were so loved that for centuries, there were annual celebrations involing cakes with their image on. This and other interessante conjoined twin facts here.

You've read No Logo, haven't you? Course you have. But just supposing, somehow, you hadn't got around to it. And then suppose the person who lent you the book took it back over the weekend, when they came round to your house after the pub. Then you'd need to brush up on at least the first chapter. Wouldn't you? And now you can.


Got a site you think we'd be into? Tell us!

Wednesday 6 December 2000

Iwish I was a gay man.*

Unfortunately, we laydees must find other ways of getting our kicks. Like rollerskating! Anyone know of any roller rinks in Central London? Because according to this, all the roller rinks are in Essex. And Essex is scary.

Or, thrillseekers, we could go to Weston-Super-Mare. How
many charity shops? What's that? Chazzing not risky enough for ya? Think again after reading this list of list of jumble sale hazards.

Whatever you do, don't go onto the Bust message boards if you're a net newbie. Lady Lucy ventured on to discuss her Independent Heroine Project, and created some serious havoc. Those stateside feminists have sharp claws. It's all those manicures, I guess. Gotta say though, Lady - GLAD TO SEE YOU'VE STOPPED USING CAPITALS AT LAST.

And finally... Sumo wrestlers dressed as ladies? Who knew they could be so pretty? Be still my beating gusset. (via memepool).

Got a site you think we'd be into? Tell us!






Tuesday 5 December 2000

Winter. Scarf time. How do the pretty girls know how to tie their scarves just *so*? Here's how! The Gap Guide to Scarf-Tying! I know the Gap is evil - sweatshop labour an' all - but on Friday night in Soho I found a gorgeous lambswool lilac scarf in the street - and now I know how to tie it in a fashionable, swish double-loop stylie. From tiny things like this the fabric of happiness is woven. Honest.

(The Macdonald's chicken head story is here, just in case you haven't seen it.)

This - - is one of the coolest sites ever. Dedicated to one woman's vagina, (stop sniggering at the back there) it's not cuddly, or cloying, but nor is it annoying 'inyerface' femuhnist bragging. It's just a comprehensive catalogue of interesting, matter-of-fact writings about the various aspects of the life of her cunt, from grooming and masturbation to blood and lubrication. It's cool! There aren't any pictures, though, kiddies. You'll have to use your imagination.

Or look at a Realdoll, huh huh huh. How real are these babies, eh? These are dolls that represent real girls doing real sporty things like surfing and that. Read an article, or check out the Flash-heavy site. BTW, these are not those extremely scary and (I thought) suprisingly sexy ultra-real-life silicon dolls - they are toys for little girls to promote positive self-esteem, doncha know.

I'm a vicar's daughter. Child of a preacher man. Soapboxgirls this month is dedicated to such matters, it being Christmas an' all. Soapboxgirls is a clever and interesting ladyzine from across the pond. Worth checking out if only to see if all preachers' kids grow up into twisted, backsliding heathens. Or is that just me?

Got a site you think we'd be into? Tell us!

the onion

lisa carver

the spark


disgruntled housewife

the horse

pocket pig



*(friday 8th)
i was making a really erudite weblog for your friday. it had an alphabet theme:alphabet street mp3s, women's font collective website, etc - and then everything crashed so you'll have to have this smut instead.














*M essage to Daily Mail readers: do not under any circumstances follow this link. To everyone else: oh my heavens!