25.9.07

h e l p m e e e

i are trapped in sweden

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20.9.07

WHAT IF....

...Lolcats and Postsecret.com had a baby?


Lolsecretz!
It was only a matter of time.

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19.9.07

GHOST BOOBS - DON'T DO IT!

Aw, it's so good to be blogging back here on AMPnet that I think we need a little Gravy Train to celebrate, don't you? This is the sad story of a girl who went on a diet and lost her boobs: hence, 'Ghost Boobs'. It's true! It happened to my sister, folks. (My other sister.) Don't do it!

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18.9.07

BECAUSE WE REALLY NEEDED JUST ONE MORE REASON TO HATE TIM WESTWOOD

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THE DEVIL LIVES IN MY HUSBAND'S BODY

Look at this early 80s gem, by NYC all girl band Pulsallama, that I unearthed while searching for Ann Magnuson / Bongwater clips. (Ann Magnuson was a former member of this band.) I am *so* crushing on the fashion styles of the lady who lives next door but just because she has 17 cats doesn't mean she's a witch.

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17.9.07

NEWS JUST IN

APPARENTLY IT IS OK TO TELL A USER TO 'CLICK HERE'

Thank fuck for that.

Sorry to talk about boring digital copywriting type stuff on my ULTRA FUCKING FUN AMP BLOG WHOA, but whatever. Break out the babycham. CLICK ON MY FACE. Hurrah!

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16.9.07

SAVAGE MESSIAH KING'S X DRIFT

more activity from Savage Messiah, top zine du jour:

SAVAGE MESSIAH**$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$



NIGHT DRIFT THROUGH KINGS CROSS: ££££££££££££££££££££

@HOUSMAN’S BOOKSHOP, CALEDONIAN ROAD, N1.

On Saturday 29th of September 7pm ,LAURA OLDFIELD FORD of SAVAGE MESSIAH ZINE . …………. .. ……. .. …

. ………………… will facilitate a drift through the Kings cross area. The Savage Messiah employs the tactic of psychogeography to expose the repressed desires of the city. Savage messiah welcomes participants to this walk to join a collective cognitive anti mapping of the city and hopes that stories, anecdotes, drawings, ideas generated on the route will become part of the next issue of the zine to be launched at Housman’s in November.

JOHN WILD, frequent collaborator with Savage Messiah and psychogeographical explorer of data space will be collecting the locative data calculate from mobile phone signals along the Kings X Drift.

The data will be compiled into an audio broadcast that will be transmitted in the location of Housmans book shop at the November launch.

IF OUR FUTURE HAS BEEN STOLEN NOW IS THE TIME TO LOOK BACK WITH VENGEFUL INTENT.

The greasy rebranding of Kings cross is in its final stages, sycophantic bilge, faux heritage, fragments left over for the sake of authenticity. This is the cosmetic veneer that is meant to distance millennial ‘regeneration’ from the tabula rasa brutality of modernism or the high octane demolition tendencies of Haussmann . Kings Cross is in a state of confusion,it is in gripped in the foolish tyranny of the masterplan.

Clarence passage is a strange juxtaposition of old tenements with the gleaming new architecture of an international airport. All places become surfaces that can accept the neo liberal stamp. Representations of places are decontextualized. These are placeless places, liminal realms opened up for subversion. Little alleyways of boarded up windows open up in the tenement ravines. And , like the damp construction of some Stalinist penitentiary are the Costain portakabin slabs.

The Golden Lion on Brittania st, 90’s pub done up, horrible, fuck this. We’re done up for a bit of the old ultra, a Bakunist wrecking spree on every gastro pub travesty we can get our hands on. Flick knife activates at sight of swaggering prick whose class background has assured him of lording it status, the dirty jeans and scruffy t shirt only serve to reinforce it.

Laminated flooring, best brawled over Ikea settees .

All I want to see right, is the Clinique counter at Selfridges smashed up with Paul McCarthy abjection, Robert Gober mannequins trashed in a Ballardian make up counter frenzy.

Sean, have it, have it go on.

Don’t know what he’s doing, head splitting with the hysterical banalities of Saturday night tv.

That day when we went in search of the Groaner, we had to scour The Boot. We scanned the orange paintwork, bottle green tiles and Guiness trinkets. It was a Saturday afternoon booze up, brawls erupting, hilarity and shouting, but the Groaner wasn’t there.

“The labyrinth is basically the space where oppositions disintegrate and grow complicated, where diacritical couples are unbalanced and perverted etc., where the system upon which linguistic function is based disintergrates, but somehow disintegrates by itself, having jammed it’s own works.The labyrinth we discuss cannot be described. Mapping is out of the question.” Against Architecture The writings of Georges Bataille, Denis Hollier.

The Savage Messiah seeks out nomadic architecture, transient architecture, places that can slip out of sight, re emerge and reconfigure somewhere else. Savage messiah drifts through the city in defiance of panoptican surveillance, seeking out places that do not exist on official maps, she roams through a maze of bolt holes, alleyways and sites that slip through the net. The Savage Messiah gravitates towards settlements and reconfigurations of forms that become an outward manifestation of nomadic subjectivities. These are the enchanted places that slip out of sight, re emerge and reconfigure somewhere else. There are numerous portals, fluctuating and reversible like a Baroque ceiling, lenses opening onto other realms.

Camden squatlands, headcases on psychoactive drifts, abandoned boozers, Nazi occultists, Rimbaud and Verlaine as proto flaneurs,Soane tomb transgressions, construction site labyrinths, subterranean rivers, Scala treble bills, Ballardian psychtropic nightmares……….

! VIVA SAVAGE MESSIAH !

SAVAGE MESSIAH DEMANDS THE ABOLITION OF ALL ZONES!! DESTROY CARTESIAN RHETORIC, SMASH THE VILLE RADIEUSE, SAVAGE MESSIAH IS CALLING FOR A MASS RETURN TO THE LABYRINTH!!!

Bring pens, chalk, battered cassette recorders, booze.

Contact and info ../

savagemessiah@hotmail.co.uk

John Wild- http://rupture.co.uk/KingXdrift/

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TECHNORATI

A formality. Ignore pls.

Technorati Profile

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NAG NAG NAG

Today's missive is brought to you by one Lisa Margreet aka My Sister.

Here is a picture of her doing the LOL face:



And here is her missive:

While AMP has "Manmarie" as her alter-ego, here at chez Payne in our east London apartment, lives Granny Payne. (Of course Manmarie lives with his Granny, what self-respecting slob doesn't?!) Granny Payne loves to moan, and complain, and knit, and make jam. Lots of jam. Anyway, Granny Payne has found something to temporarily distract her from whether she should lodge a complaint about the floodlit sports ground in the sports college opposite her bedroom.

It comes in the form of this website called "The Nag" which is part of the Anti-Apathy um, movement? social experiments? Let me let them explain:

Anti-Apathy* (AA) promotes awareness and action for positive social change and offers refreshing ways to connect you to the politics and economics behind your every day life, from fashion to free trade and everything in between. AA starts with awareness, but equally, it's about experience and action. Through our events and unique social experiments we aim to raise debate and inspire new perspectives.

It's the closest I've come to joining AA yet.


Yeah, so that's about it really. I thought they were rather cute websites with very good aims and I thought you might like to know about them. Here's an invite from me to the Nag: www.thenag.net/invited_by/lisamargreet and here's a link to the anti-apathy site: http://www.antiapathy.org/

Don't tell me you can't be bothered to check them out *rollseyesatadvanceapatheticjoke*

Hope you're all good, take care, and stop laughing at my organic jeans please.

xxxx

PS: Oh yes, and I meant to say that The Nag's tagline is "changing the world one lazy assed mouse-click at a time" so its perfect for internet junkies and lazy asses alike as it won't interfere too much with your usual internet daily "rounds". Mentioning no names of course. xxx

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AMY NAILS IT

Listen, here is the venerable Amy Kellner just totally hitting the nail upon the head:

"Well, it was a good run, but my social life is officially dead. Dead, dead, dead. Stick a fork in it. A sad, sad, sad, rusty, crud-covered fork. It's "fashion week" and "art opening week" and I have not gone to a single solitary "event." Not one. Here's my life now: Work (which is good, don't get me wrong), get home around 9pm, collapse onto couch, stare at television, fall asleep by midnight. Lather, rinse, repeat. Ta da! I guess this is what they call being a normal person. Am I sad about it? I don't know, I can't tell. Probably I am. But you know, I shouldn't even blame work for my newfound hermitude. Plenty of 9-to-5 working folk go out a lot, and there are weekends. I just don't feel like it. I mean, I am an elderly person now, what is the point of traipsing around at all hours with lithe, freewheeling youngsters ten years my junior? What I was searching for on all those dizzy moonlit nights (ha!), I never found. Maybe I found a little. But not enough and so I say good riddance, sir!"


I pretend as though I am worried that I might be lonely during my forthcoming sojourn to Stockholm. And indeed there are certain people I will greatly miss. But generally I just smile at the thought that I can indulge my hermitude with not a whit of guilt.

Anyway. Yeah. I ran away to Vox. And now I want to come back.


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IF I LEFT YOU, WOULD YOU EVER TAKE ME BACK?

this is a test. i mean, vox has all the functionality, the tag cloud, the lovely 2.0 look and feel.. but... it's hosted not on ampnet. only voxers can post comments. it has that facebook 'walled garden' feel. and a couple of other reasons. basically. i think i want to come home.

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3.9.07

I'D TAP THAT




What do you call a musician without a girlfriend? Homeless. AHAHAHAH! Right, sorry, now that's out of the way, let me tell you about my fave new band of right now, Tap Tap. (There are sometimes more of them than this, but this is the only picture on their Myspace that features a man with his top off, so what are you gonna do?) Tap Tap produce this wonderfully insistent guitary music that has all the emotional pull of the Arcade Fire, the twiddly menace of Agaskodo Teliverik or Marnie Stern, and the dancability factor of early Franz Ferdinand. You can't lose! You can download their album Lanzafame from Emusic, or see their Myspace. Tap it!

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in-the-bathroom AMPNET is edited by AMP, a freelance writer from London. The site developed from a print fanzine called AMP MINIZINE. To find out more, please see our press section, or contact us.

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