28.4.05

Awww. Indietits.

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cameramail

On the 22nd of December 2004, Kyle Van Horn [best name ever!!!!] taped a disposable camera to a piece of black foamcore and inscribed upon it the following message: "ATTENTION POSTAL WORKERS! Please help us with our project. As this camera travels across the country we want photos of all whom it encounters. Please take a photo before you pass it along. Thank you!" And they did! I'd like to try that with the folks at the E9 Hackney Sorting Office, but there would probably be just lots of pictures of them, like, laughing at the post, stabbing the post, holding the post quizzically saying 'Doh, what is this? What do I do with it?' before someone teaches them that Hackney Sorting Office's official policy is to throw it in the canal. Maybe I should try it, and post the results here. Watch this space...

Also (this will never happen) if anyone happened to find a blue Canon Ixus i5 at All Tomorrow's Parties - maybe among the sand dunes, or in the bar - they can take all the pictures they want with it, but can they then send it back to me? Please. Please. Please. You will know it's mine because there will be a video of Simon Bookish talking about snails, and then some pictures of a big blond boy and a fat goth girl, right at the beginning of the film. SEND IT BACK. Please. The heavens will reward you.

Ok, I do hope I'm not going all schmindie and gey after ATP (i-is there something wrong with knowing every single word to 'Ask' by The Smiths, and all the harmonies?) but l@@k! at this beautiful, creepy, abandanoned fairground in Japan. Wouldn't that be a great place for a first date? (I'm collecting great first date places for my '2005 - the year of being tOtALLy cRuShEd oUt!!!' chapbook I am making. Email your great first date ideas for inclusion!)

And in your latest Mayor of WTF visits popland news: Le Tigre to record with Paris Hilton? Wtf?

Dancehall darning

And finally - don't throw shit away when it breaks - mend it! Make like the Castoff chicks and go darn your socks while listening to tunes. First Saturday of every month at the Heavenly Social in Islington.

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21.4.05

RICH KIDS! DOLE SCUM! WANT TO WORK IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY?

The Outpost is looking for dynamic individuals wanting to gain work experience in the music industry. The Outpost is a Music PR company based in West London, UK.

This is a unique opportunity for an individual to get hands on PR experience, while at the same time gaining valuable insight into the workings of a record label.

The Outpost roster currently includes Definitive Jux, Scenario Records, Out Hud, Swayzak, !K7, Dented Records and All City Music + more

The Outpost are offering entry-level internships within the company and are looking for people available full-time (10am-6.00pm) for a minimum of one month, who are living in London or able to commute on a daily basis. The placements are unpaid, though travel costs will be re-imbursed.

WORK EXPERIENCE PLACEMENT TO START MAY 3RD

These positions are ongoing and so applications from people available for a longer term would be welcomed. This is a genuine and unique opportunity for someone to get that first break in the music iundustry.

The role will include taking cuts from national press, answering phones, doing general administrative work and mailouts as well as the opportunity to contribute to national publicity campaigns. The internships will also involve assisting All City Music and Scenario Records.

Think you've got what we're looking for? Please email your CV to david@outpostmedia.co.uk

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17.4.05

Corn Mo, the accordion superstar, is playing in the UK on Thursday and Friday nights! I have never seen Corn Mo or even heard any of his songs, but I do not think that that should be a barrier to appreciation of a musician's aesthetic, so I hope to see you there. Here's Corn Mo's site, and here's a rather surreal interview we did in which he makes up stories out of email subject headings. Yay Corn Mo!

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20050401-gillian

Could you ever love anyone this much? "I put my ring finger in Clive’s mouth and he put his ring finger in my mouth with our teeth resting right on the last joint. We looked in each other’s eyes, nodded, and bit down as hard as we could. It was a little disappointing because we couldn’t actually get all the way through, but we did pop the joint open and tear it a little. We cut the rest, just some skin and the tendon, the normal way."

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Got my keys, money and fags. But ladies - have you determined whether your outfit is modest or not? We wouldn't want boys catching a glimpse of bra-strap, the outline of a nipple, or, God forbid, ass-cleavage. Try these simple "Truth or Bare?" tests and let your heart be moulded into modesty!

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11.4.05

Feminist icon Andrea Dworkin dies.

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Clearly influenced by my sister's My Belated Valentine project (which involved sending a Valentine's card to a local cutie - which directed him to a website - which showed intriguing photos and an email address - which sadly had no effect whatsoever) - this Stateside computer geek has gone one better by hiring a billboard designed to advertise himself and get himself a date. Aww! Maybe my sister and the geek will get it together! That would be so sweet.

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DIY / zine swap image

Here's a neat little idea. It's a banner swap website that exists in order to promote DIY craftpersons and the underground press. For everyone who clicks through to their site, you 'earn' an exposure of your banner. Access to all the punk rock sock moneys and crocheted skulls your heart could desire!

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9.4.05

DILF

The dudes at dilf.com may know all about tops and bottoms, but they don't seem to know very much about subs. Otherwise they'd have hired a decent one before going live with a grammatical error of this magnitude. Porn these days. I ask you.

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8.4.05

'Horses do not win Grand Nationals ridden by women - that's a fact. Carrie is a grand lass, but she's a brood mare now, and having kids does not get you fit to ride in Grand Nationals.' Tune in to tomorrow's Grand National to see whether Carrie Ford can prove the bigots wrong and become the first woman to win the race. Place your bets (odds currently 10-1) now!

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4.4.05

How ace does Bruce LaBruce's new film, Raspberry Reich, sound? "The leader of the Raspberry Reich, Gudrun, who has patterned herself after Gudrun Ensslin, one of the main members of the Baader-Meinhof Gang (the Red Army Faction), spends her time indoctrinating vital, athletic young men to her cause.

"A strict devotee of Wilhelm Reich, she believes that heterosexual monogamy is a bourgeois construct that must be smashed in order to achieve true revolution. To that end, she forces her straight male followers to have sex with each other to prove their mettle as authentic revolutionaries. A porno-political-palooza!"

Our man Cocoa Beware loved the film, describing it as an "interesting intersection of hardcore porn and real propaganda, and also a cool commentary on the commodification of 'radical chic' that references both Godard's La Chinoise and Fassbinder's Die Dritte Generation." Gosh! Read an interesting interview with Bruce LaBruce, by the guy who is largely credited with making younger Germans interested in the RAF again via his own informative, cool site, to find out more. (thanks Sam!)

And now, I'm not sure if Bruce LaBruce approves of gay weddings or whether he'd spit 'assimilation!' just like the Hidden Cameras and Butt magazine would, but here:

With the civil partnerships act coming into force on 5th December 2005, Tartan Films is celebrating the premier of the upcoming documentary Andrew and Jeremy Get Married by hosting a group commitment ceremony on Thurs 7 April 2005. If you and your partner would like to take part, log on to http://www.andrewandjeremy.com to fill out an invitation. Every couple who participates will be entered into a draw to win an all-expenses paid Civil Commitment ceremony and the honeymoon of a lifetime!

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cutting

This image is from a collaborative art project, Post Secret. Like a more involved version of Grouphug.us, users paint or otherwise illustrate postcards telling a secret, then send them through the post to a central address. New images are uploaded every Sunday. Peep at other people's vulnerabilities, or confess your own.

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1.4.05

luridMy poor broken leg gets a mention in today's Independent: "Eamon winces at the suggestion. A recent jaunt on to the South Downs resulted in a broken leg and a helicopter rescue for his mate, and a pitch-black ramble home for him." Lucky old leg. Fame at last. *strokes leg*. Hey, added bonus of leg-break: magazines are sending cars to take me to and from interviews! Woot! Check me out. With my limp and crutches. Ooh yeah.

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Could there be a better first-date proposition than a game of ultraviolet art tag? It's tomorrow night (Sat 2nd April) outside the Serpentine Gallery, from 7pm. And then you can go back a week later as Tomoko Takahashi dismantles her exhibit and take away your very own little bit of art as a souvenier of Your Love. Awwww!

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"She was into S&M and Bible studies, not everyone's cup of tea, she would admit to me..."

It's always fun to meet someone and watch their face do a confused as they realise that you in the flesh is a huge disappointment compared to your online persona: but at least I've never been dumped in favour of my online alter ego. Ouch!

And finally...could this be the ugliest, most inbred-looking baby EVER?? It's so ugly it looks like one of those fake baby dolls you see advertised in the National Enquirer. Poetic justice.

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