14.3.08

WOMEN 'UNPREPARED FOR CHILDBIRTH'

Many women are going into labour vastly underestimating how painful it can be and overly optimistic that they will be able to manage without drugs, a study suggests.

[from bbc news]

Not me, buster. I am little miss TENS machine, as much nitrous as my lungs can handle, anything opiate-based and the earliest epidural they got. I ain't getting conned with no birth orgasm bullstuffs, nosiree. (Insert joke about 'I've never refused free drugs before so why stop now?' here.) For a while I considered an elective c-section because you get loads of morphine, but I've decided a line must be drawn somewhere, and I'd rather it wasn't drawn with a scalpel across my bikini line and through my uterus. But otherwise, BRING THE DRUGS man. I want to hire a midwife to help so that I don't have to have an episiostimy (that's when they basically cut a big hole from your cunt to your ass, everyone!) but I'm scared she'll try to make me not have an epidural. She won't, will she? Anyone had a midwife or doula? I want to know what I'm getting myself into...

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7.3.08

BIRTHGASM


Pregnant Mermaid, originally uploaded by John Carleton.

So there's this whole birthgasm thing going around, right? Natural birth types going on about how if you squeeze the childe out of your fanj you eventually get the most MEGA ENORMOUS RAINBOWTASTIC ORGASM YOU EVER HAD IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE, etc. And my friend Eleanor M said that after her child was born she felt this 'enormous rush of energy'. In fact everyone I know who has given birth without epidural seems quite positive about it, in contrast to everyone who has given birth in a hospital, had an epidural and then inevitably ended up in surgery anyway having a c-section to remove the placenta or the baby or whatever. (Please note, these are all in England which has an emergency c-section rate of about 1 in 4, compared to Sweden which is 1 in 10). Anyway. Yeah. Orgasmic birth. (And one more link for luck.) A reality worth going through 12-60 hours of agonising, unmedicated labour for? Or a potentially dangerous myth? If you have any experience of this, I'd love to know about it.

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