7.6.08

WORLD'S FIRST INSTANT MESSENGER INDUCTION

Sophie: oh i got you a baby
AMP: thank fuck!
AMP: this one's clearly not working out properly
Sophie: maybe just a little sleepy?
AMP: just lazy and hates deadlines
can't think who he takes after in that
Sophie: no me neither
although why your baby would take after ME i have no idea
AMP: hee hee
Sophie: maybe i am The Real Father
AMP: he's born to freelance
Sophie: that could be a new bruce springsteen song
Born To Freelance
Sophie: so this baby
shall i get a big poking stick?
maybe tickle you with a feather duster
AMP: dunno, i've tried everything
sex, jumping on trampoline, eating pineapples, eating spicy food
nipple twiddling
raspberry leaf tea
EVERYTHING
Sophie: hahah
happpppy thoughts
little baby come out of your bum
come out, come out
AMP: yay
today i hope
GET OUT JIMMY
Sophie: maybe i could induce him
via IM
AMP: do it
Sophie: would that be a first?
AMP: shove a virtual pessary
Sophie: hmm
AMP: up my virtual front bum
i'm ready
Sophie: yeah baby
AMP: i'm braced
Sophie: PESSARY
PESSARY
MAKE AMP'S FRONT BUM A MESSARY
AMP: gneeee
i think it's working
Sophie: HERE IS VIRTUAL LABOUR
FROM AN INTERNET SAVIOUR
AMP: SQUEAL
Sophie: JIMMY JIMMY YOU'RE INDUCED
Sophie: ITS OVER NINE MONTHS SINCE YOUR PARENTS REPRODUCED
SO COME ON JIMMY
FEEL THE PESSARY FROTHING AND SLIDING
AND MAKE TONIGHT THE NIGHT
FOR YOUR WINKIE TO START SUBSIDING
DOWN THE VALLEY THEY CALL MAMA
ALONG THE FJORDS OF AMP
TRY TO JEMMY YOUR WAY OUT
DOWN THE BABY RAMP
AMP: sophus, you're a geniass
Sophie: is it there yet? oof i heard a splat
AMP: eep
Sophie: little swedish baby
AMP: i think the baby is....
BROWN
Sophie: OH WOW
its like a benetton advert
AMP: no wait
wait
IT'S GINGER!
Sophie: a brown, ginger, scandinavian baby
OH WOW
ITS BROWN AND GINGER
it's a double-whammy. a double-jimmy
AMP: good old jimmy
AMP: GET OUT JIMMY
AMP: GET OUT JIMMY
AMP: GET OUT JIMMY

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