5 - The Fifth Release From Matador
Ooh exciting! A new Pizzicato 5 release! Time to be transported into a
thrilling kitchtastic world! Where the girls have swingy black bobs and
tentpole-skinny legs! And the boys wear thick glasses and sideyburns!
And everyone's chic and happy! Huzzah!
The trouble is, P5 did this so perfectly on 1994's Made In USA that frankly,
they need never make another album. The mid-Nineties, when we all wanted
to be slinky cocktail-swigging lounge lizards, was perfect for P5: everyone
was looking back, swirling the dregs of the twentieth century round in
their thrifted highball glasses. Now it's the future and Pizzacato Five
are perfectly trapped in their perfectly chi-chi ironic end-of-the-century
Japanese-Euro-American pap pop world. But I'm not. And I don't want to
be. Lemme out! Take it off!
Mount Florida - Arrived Phoenix (Matador)
"Mount Florida are dance music auteurs possessing savage wit and
an experimentalist pop sensibility". In other words, Mount Florida
is thinks-it's-clever electronica with dull-as-fuck regular beats and
samples saying 'loossssst innnnn sppppaaaa- yyyyyyccccce' over the top.
Sigh. Gimme a Y. Gimme an A. Gimme a W. And gimme a...oh, you figure it
Leila: Courtesy of Choice (XL Recordings)
Leila, talent notwithstanding (she played keyboards and did live mixing
on Bjork's 'Debut' tour), has created a boring slice of mid-nineties Bristol
trip-hop. Why? This sounds like West London people trying to do arty electronica,
but cleaning it up and making it palatable to people with long straight
blonde hair and trust funds.
Mojave 3: Return to Sender (4AD)
Mojave (pronounced Mo-harr-vay, phonetics fans) 3 used to be Slowdive,
whispery shoegazers extraordinaire. Now they are a country band, despite
living in Cornwall and going surfing every day. Yes, their music evokes
the grassy plains of Southern Tenessee, or something. I don't know because
I've never been there, and neither have they. You get slide guitar, pleasant
male vocals and harmonies, mouthorgan, gentle drums. Boring. Give it to
your dad for Christmas.
Miss AMP, 25 October 2000