A M P : : : C H A Z Z I N G

'what's happening to me?'

Shoreditch, London: Pretty, fashionable Jessica Kelman, 29, no longer finds bad clothes and assorted knick-knacks from the past amusing or interesting, the aging charity shopper confessed yesterday.

ASHAMED: 'I'm so ashamed, but thrifting just doesn't seem to do it for me any more. I found a fringed T-shirt the other day, with a picture of Snoopy on it. It was just like one I had as a kid in 1981. But so what?

'Last week, I found a Dukes of Hazzard jigsaw puzzle still in its original plastic wrapping. I bought it home and put it on the windowsill. It's still there. I don't know what to do with it.

'Truth is, I couldn't really give a shit about stuff I had as a kid anymore. It just doesn't seem relevant to my life. All I care about these days are things I genuinely need or enjoy using. What's happening to me?'

BETHNAL GREEN FLAT: Jessica, a marketing assistant for John Brown Publishing, shows me round her Bethnal Green flat. In the corner there is a fifties minibar, its glass door decorated with gold decals of champagne glasses and bubbles. On the wall there is a set of paintings clearly done by a deranged teenager sometime in the mid-seventies. Above the mantlepiece are several plastic feet, once used to display tights in department stores.

"LOOK AT ALL THIS STUPID CRAP"

SAD EYES: Jessica is wearing a child's grey sweatshirt, decorated with a faded decal of a puppydog with green eyes; a denim skirt with cowboy-style piping on the pockets; and red suede ruched ankleboots.

She sips tapwater from a dishwasher faded Tweetie Pie glass. There is sadness in her eyes as she gestures to the contents of her flat, and looks down at her outfit.

POINTLESS, UGLY, STUPID CRAP: 'Just look at all this stupid crap! We found that minibar on Brick Lane, after the market. I nearly died of happiness. But now I just think it's pointless. If there's booze in the house, we drink it. We don't need a minibar!

'And these boots! They're just like the ones Suzanne Sulley wore with that trenchcoat in the Don't You Want Me video. But they're ugly. Really ugly. All my friend are so jealous of me for finding them. But I hate them.'

LOOKS STUPID: 'It never used to bother me that I only liked all my clothes because they were so disgusting. It used to make me feel clever, like me and my friends knew a secret no one else was in on. But now.....I just think we look stupid.'

VETERAN THRIFTER: Jessica is not the only veteran thrifter to feel this way. Al Hoff, creator of the most famous zine about thrifting, Thrift Score, will no longer be producing the zine after the current issue.

'I hardly even thrift anymore' she says. 'It's shocking but true. I have too much stuff. The chaos in my office extends to every room in my house and that's because I can't stop buying. The only way to stop buying is not to go. So I don't go.'

red ruched suede boots

THRIFT SCORE, CHEAP DATE: When I mention this to Jessica she rolls her eyes.

'Thrift Score.... Cheap Date..... god. Don't talk to me about them. I'm sick of my own stupid crap. Why would I want to read about some stupid crap that someone else bought?'

FINALLY A GROWN-UP? Jessica's boyfriend suggests that perhaps Jessica is just becoming what he terms 'a grown-up'.

'She doesn't have time to visit obscure branches of Oxfam SupaSavers in Dalston anymore', he says.

'She's got a proper job now. She's dealing every day with people who just don't understand why a handbag with silver and gold snakeskin appliques on, or plastic jelly shoes worn with toe socks, is cool. And that Multi-Coloured Swap Shop 1983 annual is hardly going to help us buy this place now, is it?'

CH-CH-CH-CH-CHANGES: Jessica, however, is not so confident about the changes she is going through.

'Even last year, I'd think of the naffest, most hideous things I could remember from my adolescence, and go out and look for them. But now I think they really were just shit.

'Fuck. I'm so uncool. I'm so.... old.'

SKINT STYLE: NOT MANKY, JUST SWANKY!

W H E R E ?
Relief Fund For Romania, Clapham.

W H E N ?
June 2001.

W H A T ?
Trying on a pinstripe man's suit jacket for that Patti Smith look. I slide my hands into the pockets in order to slouch attractively before the mirror. My hands touch something cold, plastic, wet. A knotted, used condom full of sperm. Neeurgh. How gross! Just this once, the shop let me use their staff's hand-washing facilities. Thank fuck.

Everyone's got a thrift trauma... what's yours?
Tell us!

The Perfect Score
Charlie, Scope and the perfect white fur coat. A thrift-store love affair.

The Wierd World of Men's Thrifting
'Do not look at the records. Do not look at the records.' Andy K lets us in on some secrets.

Wonderful Walworth Road
It's a booty crawl down South London's thrifting hotspot

Then again, there's always BARTERING. Have a clothes swap in your front room and give the leftovers to charity. No cash involved. Revolution!!!!

What do YOU think Jessica should do? Are you bored of thrifting? Is your home full of stupid crap? Tell us!





Shoreditch, London: Pretty, fashionable Jessica Kelman, 29, no longer finds bad clothes and assorted knick-knacks from the past amusing or interesting, the aging charity shopper confessed yesterday. ASHAMED: 'I'm so ashamed, but thrifting just doesn't seem to do it for me any more. I found a fringed T-shirt the other day, with a picture of Snoopy on it. It was just like one I had as a kid in 1981. But so what? 'Last week, I found a Dukes of Hazzard jigsaw puzzle still in its original plastic wrapping. I bought it home and put it on the windowsill. It's still there. I don't know what to do with it. 'Truth is, I couldn't really give a shit about stuff I had as a kid anymore. It just doesn't seem relevant to my life. All I care about these days are things I genuinely need or enjoy using. What's happening to me?' BETHNAL GREEN FLAT: Jessica, a marketing assistant for John Brown Publishing, shows me round her Bethnal Green flat. In the corner there is a fifties minibar, its glass door decorated with gold decals of champagne glasses and bubbles. On the wall there is a set of paintings clearly done by a deranged teenager sometime in the mid-seventies. Above the mantlepiece are several plastic feet, once used to display tights in department stores.


SAD EYES: Jessica is wearing a child's grey sweatshirt, decorated with a faded decal of a puppydog with green eyes; a denim skirt with cowboy-style piping on the pockets; and red suede ruched ankleboots. She sips tapwater from a dishwasher faded Tweetie Pie glass. There is sadness in her eyes as she gestures to the contents of her flat, and looks down at her outfit. POINTLESS, UGLY, STUPID CRAP: 'Just look at all this stupid crap! We found that minibar on Brick Lane, after the market. I nearly died of happiness. But now I just think it's pointless. If there's booze in the house, we drink it. We don't need a minibar! 'And these boots! They're just like the ones Suzanne Sulley wore with that trenchcoat in the Don't You Want Me video. But they're ugly. Really ugly. All my friend are so jealous of me for finding them. But I hate them.' LOOKS STUPID: 'It never used to bother me that I only liked all my clothes because they were so disgusting. It used to make me feel clever, like me and my friends knew a secret no one else was in on. But now.....I just think we look stupid.' VETERAN THRIFTER: Jessica is not the only veteran thrifter to feel this way. Al Hoff, creator of the most famous zine about thrifting, Thrift Score, will no longer be producing the zine after the current issue. 'I hardly even thrift anymore' she says. 'It's shocking but true. I have too much stuff. The chaos in my office extends to every room in my house and that's because I can't stop buying. The only way to stop buying is not to go. So I don't go.'
	THRIFT SCORE, CHEAP DATE: When I mention this to Jessica she rolls her eyes. 'Thrift Score.... Cheap Date..... god. Don't talk to me about them. I'm sick of my own stupid crap. Why would I want to read about some stupid crap that someone else bought?' FINALLY A GROWN-UP? Jessica's boyfriend suggests that perhaps Jessica is just becoming what he terms 'a grown-up'. 'She doesn't have time to visit obscure branches of Oxfam SupaSavers in Dalston anymore', he says. 'She's got a proper job now. She's dealing every day with people who just don't understand why a handbag with silver and gold snakeskin appliques on, or plastic jelly shoes worn with toe socks, is cool. And that Multi-Coloured Swap Shop 1983 annual is hardly going to help us buy this place now, is it?'
CH-CH-CH-CH-CHANGES: Jessica, however, is not so confident about the changes she is going through. 'Even last year, I'd think of the naffest, most hideous things I could remember from my adolescence, and go out and look for them. But now I think they really were just shit. 'Fuck. I'm so uncool. I'm so.... old.'