HOW WONDERBOY YOU ARE
WORDS: JOANNA PINTO
They say that you always remember your first love. For me, every blast
of Eighties trash or synthcore takes me back to the decade taste forgot
and the one I left behind in that decade.
I first laid eyes on him when I was all of eight years old. We met one
Sunday afternoon, upstairs in my cousin's bedroom. I didn't pay much attention
as my cousin and brother played with him at first. But slowly,
over time, I found my attention drifting away from the My Little Pony
annuals back to him, because he was beautiful. I still remember those
big, cute eyes that peeped out from under golden curls, and his smooth,
smooth bronze skin.
Sure, he about an inch tall, wearing a grass skirt and throwing axes at
enemies in a two-dimensional world, but I was hooked. WonderBoy on the
Sega Master System was my first love.
The game was a standard platform game, with my eponymous digital amour
leaping over land and sea to rescue his girlfriend who'd been kidnapped
by the Demon King. He was the perfect gentlemen, collecting presents for
her along the way like dolls and flowers. He looked an odd choice for
such heroics, a chubby-cheeked cherub with a little protruding belly,
everyone looked weird in the Eighties. His girlfriend - my love rival
- was a green-haired foxy manga chick in a pink minidress. Of course I
was jealous, but at least WonderBoy had good taste in laydeez. It was
the ultimate in cutesie-cute Eighties computer games and I loved WonderBoy
with all my little heart.