EVERYTHING FLOWS


Restrooms.org is my constant friend throughout this time. A good thing, too, since none of my real friends want to hear about it. Well, none of the boys. The girls love it. A surprising number of them have tried it themselves.

The boys, however, are either grossed out (my boyfriend said 'Ew! Don't tell me!' then looked at me funny for the rest of the night), or disdainful ('what do you want to do that for? Feh. That's just sad.')

This is unfortunate, as it is from these guys that I need to get hints and tips. I take to asking my boyfriend questions just as he's waking up. Whispering 'what about splashback' in his ear before his eyes are even open.

What I discover is that, if the male organ is like an automatic camera (just point and shoot), the female organ is rather more like an SLR. You have to get all the bits in the right place to get it right. Or, as Denise puts it on Restrooms.org: 'It's like learning how to whistle. You have to learn how to position your lips for the best results.'





"it's like learning how to whistle. you have to learn how to position your lips"

 

 

THERE SHE GOES

The anonymity of the internet means that site users at restrooms.org are open about their experiences. 'Gabrielle' describes her technique thus:

I stand with my feet slightly apart, about shoulder width, my pants and panties pulled down to my knees. I lean back slightly at the waist, with some arch in my back. When I start to pee, I push hard to start a strong stream, and push again at the end to keep the stream up until I'm done. Aiming and stream control are accomplished mostly with the hips.


Another woman, 'Emily', emphasises the importance of 'a strong star and rapid shut-off, to ensure no dribbling.' For this, you need strong Kegel muscles (that's cunt muscles to you, dear.)

Luckily, I have Kegels of steel (the only muscle group in my body to get a regular workout, heh heh heh.) Over the next few months, things (that's things as in aim, stream control, and the drips issue) improve steadily. I feel quite proud of myself, and have to refrain from offering to show my new skill to people.



NEXT>>>


 

 

INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALISM FROM THE FRINGES OF GIRL CULTURE


Features:
Love and Rockets and Foxy Girl Comics

In Praise of Step Aerobics

Hello, Hello Kitty

Interviews:
Erica Smith - Girlfrenzy

Viewpoint:
Cadbury's Flake Girls More Than Adolescent Boywank, Honest


THE INDEPENDENT HEROINE PROJECT:
Lady Lucy is collecting short essays on and illustrations of the truly independent females of the 20th Century for the Project. Who are your heroines, your lovely ladies, your diamond divas? Email Lady Lucy and let her know.






















 

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