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01 AUGUST 2006
KATE MOSS
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I'm the best. I'm the best I'm the best I'm the best I am I am the best I am. I'm on my front my elbows are digging into the mattress I never seen such a dirty mattress not even at Sadie's not ever. It's like rust or blood where they're digging and I dont even care, wonder what. That groupie. She was here, stupid bitch, is it her? Did she come on in the bed I bet she did and him he wouldnt even care he likes it the taste of blood. The look of blood. He likes it round his mouth and he likes it when it goes in the needle when he pulls it back and it fills up with the blood and all the rusty colours theyre his best his favourites. Is there blood now. In the crack of his mouth. I'm gonna look.

There is no blood its white there round the corner of his mouth, that white stuff like he gets. I get sometimes even though I'm the best. Ow mattress spring into my elbow and crumbs of tobacco everywhere every stuck in my elbows curling across the pillows like gingery Lilliput pubes. Lilliput, haha, that book do you remember I had that book when I was little about the giants and the tiny people Gulliver's um Guilliver's umsomething. Travelling. Lilliputians. Little people. Anyway that is what it is like now in a way like we are the big people there are photographs and then the little people they

This stuff it's the best this stuff. It's got a yellowy glint and it's full of massive lumps, I have to crush it to make it fine enough, sometimes I squash it with the edge of the card, I'm pressing down so hard and it just flies away. I seen his friends, that Rob, crouching down on the carpet, looking for the bits I just let fly away. Theyre weird his friends. I didn't like what happened with the cameraphone. Mikey tried to warn me about that this one time Mikey Skinner but I said Mikey I'm the best I am the best the best remember how I sued that paper and then the next fucking day I was doing it in my car off the fucking dashboard and it was like I was invisible, well its because I'm the best Mikey I'm like bulletproof Im the best I'm like those little bits of coke if I'm under pressure I just pop out and fly away. And that's what I did. I flew away and then I came back. It's easy.

Maybe it's not white in the corners of his mouth. Maybe it is red it's pink its blood its her blood her blood on his face. That would be like him. To let me know that way. Let it show that way. I'm let me get up again let me look at him. Why's he asleep it's so boring. Look him there in the wall on the wall against the wall he's like a big L. I shall put my head down on his legs. It's so boring. Look his hair pushed up against the wall that's because it's soft his hair it washes itself he said I should try it.

What is it the white the pink it is pink it's brown it's blood. I kneel across his legs. He is the hobby-horse I am the rider. He is the hobby-horse I am the rider. What does it taste like, the brown and the pink on his mouth I will lick it all off. I will make him clean. Only I can do this. Because I am the best.


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