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SATURDAY 13 SEPTEMBER 2003

SETH GREEN AND THE SOFABED AND ME
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It was a hot day. It had been hot all summer. I'd grown used to the tickle as a drop of sweat travelled the long arching road down my spine. I'd grown used to it, but I'd never stopped hating it, like, you know, wasps and flying ants and the bastard sun making your freckles come out. Anyway.

I was wearing the denim skirt that had only cost £3 from the vintage store. When I rode my bike I had to hitch the stupid thing up into my knickers, because it would bind my thighs together too tightly. It was a flattering skirt, the denim skirt, and I had worn it all summer since the day I got it. And in the summer, well, sometimes it was too hot for underwear, and the skirt was the perfect skirt to wear without underwear, because it was knee-length and tight (no chance of blowing up in an up-breeze) and your secret knickerlessness would be known to no one. It was a good skirt.

The sun slanted into the ninth-floor flat and the fan did little more but whirl the sludgy porridge air around us. Seth was lying on the sofabed which was stretched out on the floor, and he grabbed my ankle as I went by and pulled me down. I tumbled down next to him and he gripped me from behind. I giggled and his right hand loosened its grip on my forearm and dropped down to the hem of the skirt. I could hear Macauley in the bedroom with Lisa, probably prancing around in her shoes and feathered hat.

Seth was biting at my neck, growling and pretending to be a wild forest bear or something, and I was giggling and struggling and his teeth were making shivers go in my arms, like it always did when someone bit my neck, and the little hairs were standing up. His right hand tugged at the hem of the skirt and yanked its tightness up a few inches. Then he moved his flat hand inbetween my thighs, which were pinned together by the tightness of the skirt, and started moving it up slowly. 'Look, don't', I said, serious now. 'Don't. Please.' He paid no attention, flat hand creeping up, side of his hand almost there now. I was all a-conundrumed, because, holy shit, man, Seth Green was trying to get it on with me, and I'd fancied him for like, EVER! But we'd only met about two hours previously, and I didn't want him to think I was a slag, and... and... I wasn't wearing any knickers, because it was so hot, and I was in the special skirt, and he would definitely think I was a slag if he found out I wasn't wearing any knickers, and... but... it was SETH GREEN, and I wanted to!

Then, because it was a dream, we got in a white van and drove to the zoo. The sun was hot, and we ate lollies called Twisters.


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